This weekend I woke up and drank coffee uninterrupted by the morning scroll through our virtual world. I sat, fairly still. I enjoyed my coffee reading a book I'd been collecting dust on for months while I waited for breakfast time. I stood in the kitchen slowly stirring bananas into the pancake mix before I poured the pancake batter into the hot pan. We held the measuring cup together while pancake batter had dotted my forehead from licking the spatula and for once I didn't reach for my phone or my camera to snag a picture that would steal that moment away. Just memories to savor.
I laughed and I watched him laugh. I watched us all through real eyes and not my lens and I knew. This is what's important. Not a perfectly composed set of brightly edited squares or 25 more photos to add to a photo album that I've never actually made- but real, messy gooey-good-rich living.
What You Need:
1 medium-large ripe, spotted banana
1 heaping spoonful cashew butter
a pinch of baking soda
a pinch of cinnamon
a splash of vanilla
What You Do:
1. Mash the banana until mostly smooth (some chunks are okay). Whisk in the egg using the fork until egg is incorporated. Mix in the cashew butter, baking soda, cinnamon, and vanilla using the fork. Leaving some "chunks" of cashew butter makes these really yummy.
2. Lightly spray the griddle with a non-stick spray. Spoon 2 tablespoons of batter onto the griddle for each pancake. Allow the pancake to get slightly puffy. Use a large spatula to flip the pancakes and cook for a minute or two more.
3. Sauce with syrup and enjoy.
I know I'll never stop taking pictures, hence the picture above. It would be like removing a body part from me. But I've been consciously aware, intentional, and purposeful about what it is I take photos of. And the breaks I take although slightly forced by myself are small, they are welcomed reminders why sometimes we really do just need a pause. Just a tiny slowed down minute to remember that not everything has to be captured and preserved. I know for myself I need that reminder more than most.
It has redshifted my focus, my mind. Refreshed me and given me new ideas. I know this balance is not something everyone needs but I did. Some days are better left to the memory and some memories are better left as just that. Many and most of my best childhood memories don't exist in tangible photographs I can hold. They are stuck, engraved forever in my head and my heart and I know - really, in the end what else could you ask for? Photograph or not, I just want to remember it all the best I can.